rejected

ive been rejected again and again.

the deadline is soooo close yet i have not able to get any place for my intern.

haihh payah sungguh.kan senang if taknak amik just give us a notice. jangan biar kami dok melangok macam org bodo.

*dah takdir memang hidup utk ditolak. haihh

old song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SpkD4V6HXo

this song? hmmm

saya fikir saya kuat, tapi tak.

saya fikir saya tahan, tapi tak

saya nak menangis pua2 tapi tak mampu

ya allah, kuatkan semangatku...

frustration

seriously, i cant hide this frustration. and i cant stop myself thinking about this.

yes, i know i put too much hope but i cant help.

i know, i should stop but idk.

ya allah

i really wish you were here

boleh encik tiang lampu?

perasaan itu halus

kan? ye, saya bersyukur sebab allah bagi perasaan tuh. tapi kadang2 teringin sangat nak ada perasaan yg stone, tahan je dengan semua. tak kira apa yang orang buat tapi tetap selambar. macam mane nak dapat perasaan macam tuh?

haihh.

#encik tiang lampu. susahnya nak contact ngn awak..

selfish

dah lama sedar pasal hal nih. tapi buat2 tak taw sebab org kata tak elok selfish nih. jangan kedekut nanti Tuhan balas balik.

semua ilmu tuh Allah yang punya. owh takpela.

redha je orang buat macam nih kan. takpe2 bersabar je. mungkin ada hikmah. yela, jimat sebab tak payah bayar cost photostat.

terasa? besela. dah nama pown ratu sentap. bende kecik mcm nih pown nak sentap.

so conclusion: kadang2 selfish tuh penting jugak esp dalam hal pelajaran.

bertahan ye farah

baru sebulan takkan dah mengalah. no farah no. masih banyak masa lagi nih. u need to be strong and continue this thing.

sabar ye farah sabar

lindungi aku

ya allah, aku mohon pada-Mu lindungi daripada syaitan. kuatkan lah semangatku agar aku tidak mudah diganggu.

lindungi aku ya allah. hanya kau tempat aku bersujud.

aminnn.

where are you?

my dear you-know-who friend,

where are you now???

tak ubah apaapa pun.

walaupown secara am nya saya tak marah kat korang dan saya marahkan org lain, but hubungan saya dengan org lain tuh semakin elok berbanding hubungan saya dengan korang.

pelik sangat, indirect person lagi teruk daripada direct person. teruk not in the sense of diri korang or watsoever, just the relationship buat masa sekarang nih.

see? saya dah admit salah saya, even nak defence diri sendiri pown dah tak mampu da..takde istilah ego tinggi dah sebab saya tahu ego saya da amat rendah and even you guys talked about that kan? so apa lagi masalahnye skrg nih? ive tried to talk to u, but u just ignore it. still, salah saya kan? sebab tak ikhlas or tak bersungguh? i know, semuanye sebab saya. if saya tak buat 'perangai' tuh confirm between us takde masalah kan? but yeah, salah saya.

i know korang still bercakap pasal hal nih kat twitter kan? korang boleh cakap anything about this sebab saya takde twitter so i cant stalk korang.

haihhh malangnye nasib kau nih farah.

cant we just stop all this nonsense?

loser sangat kan.

you should be thankful because u have ur people on ur side. they were there to comfort u, to hug u, to lend u a shoulder. yes, u should be thankful. they were there to hear u.

and here i am, with nobody. there were no one on my side. theres nobody to comfort me, nobody to hear me, nobody to do like what they did to you. and the end, people blamed me.

you cried, and me too. but nobody hear me.

do u know how it feel when you really need someone at least to say 'sabar ye farah' and actually theres no one?

and yes i am a loser.

dot.

aku tahu aku sensitif. dan disebabkan itu aku jadi macam nih. kau keras hati, aku keras kepala. so deal la kan?

cepatla weekend.

sensitive

i wish i can an emotionless person.

i wish i can be an independent person.

nak jadi degil and hati batu boleh tak? mcm mane? boleh tolong ajarkan?

1234

tak pernah terlintas dalam hati utk bergadoh dengan perempuan lain kerana lelaki. tak pernah dan insyaallah takkan mungkin.

aku sekadar berpura2 jeles supaya cerita kau ada respond. bayangkan andai kata aku sekadar 'owh ok' hilang mood la weyh nak bercerita kan?

so i may look like jealous tp sebenarnye dalam hati tak pown. if he choose u, then its fine with me. dah memang die dah reject aku pown, so tak perlu nak terhegeh2 pada orang yg dah reject aku.

and in fact, aku dah tutup pintu hati pada mana2 lelaki pown, include him sebab aku dah give up. yes, i used to like him, but not anymore.

so please u dont have to struggle to change your schedule semata2 untuk jaga hati aku or whatsoever.*kalau betol la kau tukar semata2 sebab nih*

so im sorry sebab marah kau or tuduh kau but seriously i didnt mean to do that. maybe sebab aku terlalu sensitive maybe. haihh susahla jadi org mcm nih.

stress weyh stress!

bile dah tak paham so stress and bile dah start stress rase mcm nak menangis meraung, boleh tak?

oh nooooooooooooooo!

joker

he may not see that im jealous, he may not feel that im hurt, he may not hear my cries, but everytime i remember that hes not mine, ouchh it hurts me a lot.

from her story, it kindda obvious yg that feeling is not there, not for me. yes i know, forget him, forget everything about him. but when i was there, with him, its so hard to do so. what should i do now?

love is like a joker pulak. bencila mcm nih

its ok.

sedih sangat bila apa yang kita buat takde siapa yang nak support. daripada bersemangat terus down. haihh.lagi2 support daripada orang yang rapat dengan kita. yes, its a concern tp haihhh. nasib nasib. sepatotnye senyap kan semuanye kan? tapi kalau nak senyapkan daripada family tuh susah sikit la. eh bukan sikit tapi banyakkkkkkkk.

and now mmg macam tak bersemangat nak pegi keje. selalunye kalau nak pi keje semangat sentiasa. sampaikan pernah terpikir nak keje everyday. tapi sekarang MALAS sgt nak pi.

takpe la. dah nasib macam tuh. its ok. dah biasa dah.

cool la farah. sabar ye.

i miss the memories

everything reminds me the memorie..s i miss everything between us. and i miss my hero :(

please.

kadang kadang music express everything kan?

ya allah...

:(

this is me

takpe. dah bese dah kene macam nih. ditinggalkan,disisihkan,dibiarkan sorang2. sume tuh dah rase dah. macam imun jugak tapi kadang kadang terasa jugak. besela, saya manusia biasa yang ade perasaan halus dan sensitif. besela, orang menumpang memang mcm nih. kalow tak rapat ngn orang lain mmg macam nih jugak. haihhh. nvm.

and u. takde kredit eh? takpela. malu dah.

maaf mrhandphone. lepas nih terpaksa campak kamu merata2. sedih bila yang ditunggu tak kunjung tiba. xpela. dh bese kan.

aku manusia biasa

aku nih manusia biasa yg ada perasaan jeles. ye aku tahu antara kita tiada apa2 ikatan tapi yelah, sebab aku manusia biasa lah aku jeles jugak.
aku tahu aku nih manusia biasa yg takde apa2 utk dibangga kan dan die, yes i know. die cantik, die comel. sekali tengok pasti nak tengok lagi kan? die ade rupa yg cantik dan aku takde bende tuh.ye aku sedar diri.
sebab aku manusia biasa lah aku tak mampu utk memulakan bicara antara kita. sebab tuh kita selalu diam. ye, aku bukan la jenis yg ramah. aku pendiam, macam kau jugak. tapi kita boleh berbicara dan bergurau senda dengan org lain, macam kau dengan die, macam aku dengan org lain. ye, sebab hal nih lah yang buat aku jeles. bodoh? mmg, aku tahu aku bodoh. ramai cakap aku bodoh. aku bodoh sebab kau dah reject aku tapi still aku suka kat kau, still aku msg kau. still aku sengih bila org gosip kita. still sama macam sebelum kau reject aku.

nah,amik.

the way kau buat macam tuh macam kau jela yg baik. mula2 bila dapat tahu pasal nih memang angin jugak. aku tak paham betol orang yg tak boleh bezakan antara kutuk dengan rase bersalah. ohh mungkin kau tak pernah kutuk orang agaknye, so kau main agak apa yg aku tulis tuh adalah kutuk. and thanks to you sebab buat semua salah faham nih ye.

in fact, kau lah org yang aku kutuk, not him ok. baca elok2 apa yang aku tulis tuh, baca guna akal, bukan guna emosi. sebab kau sorang yg aku kutuk so kau nak cakap die pown sama la? hi, so ashamed of u la. oh lupa pulak, aku dah delete pown post tuh. reason? cukup2 la segala misunderstanding nih. tak larat aku nak handle.

aku nih pown bukan lah bagus in handling my emotion. tak pasai2 semua aku kutuk nanti kang. ha tak ke haru? aku jugak yg bertambah dosa.

dahla,kbye

its my decision

when i told people, ' i amik accountancy' what? ade masalah ke? kenapa perlu nak condemn other people. tak kisahla anak kau amik ape, amik course yg hebat ke, yang boleh dapat income around rm20k ke, tak kisahla. its ur child's decision. and this is my decision to take this course.
sape kata account tak leh hidup. heloo? pernah dengar tak yg mostly the CEOs ada latar belakang accountancy. fine, itu diowg punye luck. and i dont know my luck, where will i go after this. tapi at least ade gaji utk survive pown kira ok kan?

this is my plan.
2012 - tamat bachelor (insyaallah)
then continue for ACCA (maybe part time)
then kerja as accout exec for 3years until i get chartered accountant
bila dah ade CA, gaji pown boleh masyuk jugakla.
so pakcik, takyahla berlagak sgt ye


da.bye.

-_-''

awak, cepat2 sembuh sebab saya rindu nak berborak dengan awak mcm dulu2

=(

alahai kawan

janganla hensem sgt, kang aku terpikat lagi kang, kau jugak yang susah. aku tawla kau hensem, kau dress up macam tuh lagila hensem..adoh, gugur jantung aku. macam mane nih? i dont want to give any hope anymore cause i know it will hurt me more tapi hati nih degil sangat.

alahai hati..janganla macam nih. sudah2 la tuh. parah dah kau nih farah!

dah takdir kan?

sekarang saya tahu mcm mane perasaan kene reject.
its fine.

sekarang buang everything and tutup everything. so tak perlu nak rase pape. do whatever you and i wont feel anything.
tapi kan, senang cakap, cuba buat? susahnye...

haihh. serabut je

susahsusah

memang susah kalau kita dah hilang kepercayaan kan? tak kira la macam mane betol pown ape yg kita cakap tapi yela, susah nak percaya.



haihhhh.

annoying.

ko tak taw ape yang aku rase. so diam boleh tak? menyampah dengar.

penat sampai pening

ok hari nih penat melampau sbb malam tadi closing. dahla syazuan tak dtg. *ko mmg saje taknak datang kan? menyusahkan betol la* and we have to clean the store. dari depan sampai la belakang. penat woooo. pulak tuh, tgh2 membersih, boleh pulak kepala nih buat hal. pening gile weyh! scrub pown tak larat dah. budak pagi masok leh tanye asal kitowg layu semacam je hari nih? jawapan nye, semalam closing la weyhhhhh! penat dowh.
and balik kene singgah petronas beli battery then pi sekolah wani. tup tup, tengah perhimpunan. hari nih ISNIN la. memang la tengah perhimpunan. adoyai. dah buang masa kat situ.
balik rumah dah kul 8pg. nak tido nih. pastu ade org msg pulak. xpe2 layan saja.and 8suku mcm tuh dah aman then zzzzzzz......
9.10 baru bangun. aaaaaaa MALASNYE! sumpah malas. mata tak larat nih. tp sbb taknak kene sound lagi so datangla keje cepat2.

and now, rase mcm zombie dah nih. haihh..

frust kali kedua.

saya nak macam nih boleh?

ini ikhlas weyh

to izzul aka najwan;
okla. aku dengan ikhlas nak buat 1 post utk kau. hahahaha
wahai kawanku izzul, bile nak kuar nihh???? bowling jommmmm! *walaupown aku main masok longkang je hahaha* tapi aku tak kesah. practise makes perfect hahaha

okla,cukupla tuh eh? heheh

bye.

for the first time.

bila dah selalu sgt datang lewat memang tak boleh la kan? silap2 kene pecat.
but im not coming late because i want to. yes, hes coming late because he works till 10,11 pm but for me, i work until morning.
nah, its my decision, its me who want to do all this, so accept jela kan.

hes not mad at you farah, it just an advise. i accept it.
im sorry bos.

less word

kadang kala blog adalah tempat yg bagus utk meluahkan perasaan. tapi kadang2 teori tuh tak betol jugak. if no words can express them, so blog tak berguna jugak kan? still, kawan adalah org terpenting utk berkongsi segala. tapi tak semua orang boleh berkongsi dengan orang lain. maybe orang tuh tak pandai utk menyusun kata2 agar orang lain faham dengan apa yang ingin die sampai kan.
and me? stuck in the middle. y? tak tawla nak cakap macam mane. haihhh -_-''


encik tiang lampu, awak tak pernah membosankan bg saya ok? never ever.
im so sorry for that day. my mistake.

kalau taknak tak ape

orang cakap, senyap tanda setuju.
tapi if way of your senyap was like aku-tak-nak-amik-tahu then i guess u dont like it right?
if so just ask ur friends to stop everything.
its fine with me, seriuosly.

i will miss u forever

you helped me a lot and you give me such a memory that i cant forget.
i will never forget u and i love u sooooooooooooo much
i miss u,now and tomorrow.

yes its my fault. i killed u. im so sorry.

rest in peace my dear handphone.

=(

memalukan ok.

sangat malu bila dengan confident nya jerit nama si A but terjerit si B. and depa pown ape lagi, bahan abis laaaaaa! peluang depan mata takkan nak lepaskan.
owh people, korang memang buat aku malu abisssssssssssssss!

kesian spec nih

mane2 ade je yang tak kene. people ask, kenapa pakai spec nih? besarla, try la yg kecik or wtv. pelik betol. helo kawan2, spec nih tak besar pown, just nice ok. and this is my first time pakai spec bingkai macam nih ok. for me ok, tapi orang cakap not so ok.
ape apela kawan, yang penting hati happy ok?

=)

funny taw!

dulu bukan main kau sombong. bila msg and when i need my things back, mcm2 alasan, konon busyla, ade training la bagai. and now, you're like..hye,sy mengganggu awak ke?

ewww tolongla. stop it. menyampah taw. dulu kononnye tak jumpa 4months rindula segala bagai *muntah hijau* and then, tak sampai sebulan dah couple dengan orang lain. and now, u'r coming back into my life? oh please la,syuhh main jauh2. i dont need u, ever. dah meluat dengan orang yg bersikap macam kau. what? nak cakap aku sombong? ha-ha. like i care. my life makin berseri2 if kau tak muncul.

couple with u was my biggest mistake taw x.

haih haih haihhhh

orang kata tak elok mengeluh. sebab ape tak ingat la pulak. tapi nak mengeluh jugak. haihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~

fuh fuh fuhhhhhh!

ok. until 1pm alhamdulillah belom mengantok. kalow tak, waktu2 macam nih mata dok berkelip2 tahan ngantok. tak pasai2 bertongkat depan computer tido! hahaha konon khusyuk buat keje yang takde pown. ok.

semalam agak teruk jugak la keje. 2 orang tak datang keje. hamboi2..sesuka hati korang je tak datang ye. lain kali inform la. nih tak pasai2 depa kene ot. nvm. tapi betol, penat wooo. dok sental sana, sental sini, pastu kene marah pulak. haihhh nasib sungguh! btw, sape nak keje late night angkat tangan! mmg betol2 tak cukup orang ok. oc pulak asyik nak datang je, pegi stor lain boleh kan?

ha, nih nak cite pasai sorang akak nih. helo akak, taw la nak balik, tak makan lagi ye? tapi keje tuh siap kanla dulu ye. tgk, tak pasai2 kitowg kene buat. pulak tuh sedekah pahala sebab dah bagi berbakul2 maki+kutuk+ngumpat.
hari tuh bukan men marah kat kitorg sebab tak stock up barang ye? helooo? balas dendam ke? at least kitowg dah balik lewat ye time tuh. tak ler mcm akak, cepat je nak balik. bengong!

da. malas nak pikir.bye

aaakibat terlebih tidur

satu badan sakit2. so, padan muka. sape suh tidur more than 12hours??

now i know

now i know where are u.

thanx to ur friend =)

sampai hati tak beritahu saya kan..

kelakar kan?

imy mr.you-know-who

malu weyh maluuu!

begini ceritanye. kelmarin i request offday because i dont have rest for about 2weeks. and plus, kelmarin memang demam agak teruk. balik keje, solat magrib terus pengsan. isyak pown langgar. i know teruk. tapi memang tak sedar.
and kelmarin punye semalam or more precise, hari rabu, along cakap saya masok ari jumaat, which is semalam kul 12. so okla. ade terpikir nak singgah jap masa balik keje semalam nak tengok jadual. tapi mcm malas pulak. so, tak pegi la. mlm tuh, siap segala bagai, datang keje, once i looked the roaster, oh my god! awat name saya takde? cuti ke? so i asked kak huda and she said, memang ari nih cuti ko. adusss! penat2 datang, terpaksa la balik. tapi ok jugak, boleh rest lagi. lagipown tekak still tak sedap sebab baru pas muntah. errrr......
tapi takdela malu benor. just sebab dah datang tetiba kene halau balik. haishhh. nasib badan.

semalam tak sakit tapi hari nih lengan ni da start mengada2 sebab injection tuh. u know i hate injection kan? haishhhh. sabo jela...

much better

for now, i feel much better. except for my batuk dengan selsema nih, mmg payahla. especially for flu. mmg amik sama lama sangat utk ok. sekarang still k.o.
so, mcm mane ngn mcd? with this condition, bukan ke patot pakai mask kan? so no need utk jaga kaunter la kan? runner pown tak kesah, janji tak pegang dwet. hahaha

owh tadi makan aiskrim 2,3 suap. terbaekk!

i dont need it.

citics sometimes are very useful when we do sth kn. itu membantu kita utk jadi lebih bersemangat. but too much of critics is not good. itu boleh men down kan diri sendiri.

dats y i dont need critics but please support me.

tahniah tahniah

u have potential to get fever. so tahniah. dah lama teringin kan? so bolehla mintak mc and get 100% rest.
oh yeahhh!

i wonder kenapa mengantok sangat2 nih sampai macam takleh bukak mata da. adoyai.

padan muka is the right word

hadiah utk diri sendiri. self reward? of course la not. punishment i guess.
PADAN MUKA.
sape suruh tak jaga kesihatan. dah mcm nih baru nak menyesal? nasib bek sikit je. kalow teruk? semua marah kamu.


and please ye people, tolongla jangan menggatal. geli la. setakat tunggu sekejap pown kene bagi no phone ke as balasan? nonsense sgtla tuh.

pemalas

sekarang nih selalu sgt mengantok. and even caffeine pown dah tak jalan da. sumbatla nescafe ke..coffee ke, but still sama jugak. tak hilang sikit pown mengntok nih. haihh
plissssss, i need help

and 2hari lepas baru beli novel. 5novel taw! ade 1 je yg dah bace and len, not yet. konon bawakla pi keje, harap2 dapat hilangkan ngntok. tpi bila start bace je, lagi ngntok rupanye. so i guess im no longer kaki novel, is it?
ade 4 novel lagi, and all of them just bace bab 1,2 shj. sebab? tak tahan ngntok and takde maa dah nak baca novel2 nih.

sekarang pown ngntok jugak sebab baru bace bab2 novel nih.

tak larat da. bye.

saya masih ok

sentap kan? tapi takpe, saya ok.



walau terasa macam mane pown, senyum =)

takpe, im ok. cakapla apa pown, kutukla apa pown, saya masih ok

kenangan dolu dolu

tengah godek godek gambar, tetiba ternampak gmbar nih. teringat pulak kenangan lama. 5days tuh. paling lama pernah masuk hospital. wink wink*

tapi sayang, tak jumpa lak gmbr motor yg hancur depan.

sekarang, if naik motor, esp angah yg bawak, masyaallah. istighfar byk2.

and, tak boleh bawak motor belakang lori. tak kira la lori beso ke lori kecik ke, trauma mak nak!

pengajaran; bawak motor jgn berangan!

*bengkak gile jari tuh

mistake lagi.

what are you doing farah? uve make a BIG MISTAKE! again.

saya ok =)

i will be okay. insyaallah =)

memangla bende tuh still ade, tak penah hilang pown, but as long as you're happy, i'll be happy too

=)

smile!

im so happy to see u smile again. perhaps, sth like this?

very cute.

and, selalu kan la senyum macam nih ye =)

bertahan lagi

sem.depan.perlu.berdepan.dengan.die.seorang.and.i.will.be.the.only.target.if.there.is.anything.

missing.

haihh. maybe nmpk mcm bukan masalah besar, tp kalow tanye tuh kat depan org luar, adoyai, mane nak letak muka? fine, memang dah lama berlaku but suddenly teringat and yes, malu gile. am i that bad? aku belum kebulur sampai tahap nak amik makanan ko. setakat roller coaster kecik tuh, meh aku tolongkan belikan.ok?

and my first time beli kek ikan utk buat nasi goreng and still tanye jugak? eh hello? tak hadapla nak makan mknn kau tuh. len kali beli pape taruk name ye mcm kat seseri dulu. senang, takde orang nak curik makanan kau.eh hello sosej aku yg tetiba jadi sikit tuh pown aku tak cakap pape la.

dont try to do that again next sem. kalow tak, mintak maaf awal2 kalow mulut laser dengan volume 10 nih kene kat kau.

sory.

nak tlg tapi tak mampu

bila seorang kawan dalam kesusahan, niat di hati memang nak tolong. nak sangat2. but the problem is i dont know how?

tenangkan die? by listening, boleh?

give advice? no, im not gud

so how?

why i cant be a good friend? a friend that can give help to the?

haihh~

first day again.

today, first day i work as account clerk. fuhhh. betol2 kene dengan my course. wow, excited sangat. sebab? yela, first time nih keje yg betol2 ade kaitan dengan account. sebelum2 nih mmg jarang sgt yg ade kaitan. yg kat the store jela ade sikit2, purchasing clerk.

and i feel sooooooooooooo boring. sebab? tak byk pown keje nak buat. tapi bos sporting abis! hahaha caya la bos!

sebabnya, dah kul 3++pm, and he said, wahh rajinnye, and he said, simpanla utk esok pulak. hahaha terbaekkk!

ok,lah maw tido. mengantok. mlm nanti ke mcd pulak.

ciao!

nebes sangat nih

ade lagi 3jam sebelum start keje baru. and yes, of course la nervous. sgt2 nih. dup dap dup dap nih haaaa.

and alhamdulillah, i got another one. so my life will be very2 pack, but insyaallah takla busy mane because as far as i concern, keje account tuh mcm tak busy pown. boss siap ckp mmg tak byk keje sgt, and boleh la nak ber-facebook. wahhh terbaek la bos! hahaha

and sekarang just risau yg mlm nih. i just afraid kalow sgt2 busy. hope my body can handle all.

fuhh fuhhhhhh!

sekarang, i guess i should get some sleep so that nanti tak mengantok sgt =)

alhamdulillah

alhamdulillah. terima kasih ya allah atas rezeki yg Kau beri.

berikan aku kekuatan utk menepuh segalanya.

aminn. =)

hujan lagi

hari nih hujan, like yesterday, lebih kurang waktu yg sama jugak.

and i just remembered semalam bawak motor dlm hujan, lebat ye, bukan renyai2, siap berguruh kilat lagi.

fuhh. takut!

guruh boleh tahan lagi, but not kilat. takut laaaa!

hujan bawa rahmat kan? at least kurang la panas kat malaysia nih. dan mengurangkan jerebu. hari tuh balik shah alam, mmg jerebu. dan panas sgt!

ok ini ramalan cuaca utk semenyih, which is mmg pown sama

Pagi : Tiada Hujan

Petang : Hujan curah

Malam : Tiada Hujan

Minimum : 24 °C

Maksimum : 34 °C ok yg nih pulak utk shah alam Pagi : Mendung Petang : Ribut petir Malam : Tiada Hujan Minimum : 25 °C Maksimum : 34 °C ribut petir? menakutkan! tapi kita semua harus bersyukur sebab tgglkan di malaysia. and alhamdulillah hujan nih turun dapat kurangkan haba panas kat malaysia =) ciao.

not all has happy ending

kan?

ive just read this cerpen, it has a sad ending, and yes, i almost cry.

and i guess, the same thing happen to me, kan?

im not that lucky la.

haihh~

my name is FARAH SUHAIDA

why people were so hard to pronounce my name?

look and spell it slowly and carefully.

FARAH SUHAIDA.

susah sangat ke? sampai tergeliat lidah tuh nak sebut. nama melayu, bukan name french yg susah nak sebut tuh. adoyai.

hopefully..

kali nih, berharap sgt dapat. tak kesahla jauh or dekat, janji dapat.

aminn.

my first day!

im not that kind of person yang makan ubat when i have to eat.

tp sekarang, i have to know sume ubat2.

itula, nak jadi pharmacist, pihak universiti taknak terima.

tgk sekarang, terpaksala perah otak nih. haihh

kalau simpan boleh menangis

thats what i feel rite now. i really need someone to talk to.

can i have someone?

i guess no one.

=(

menyesal? no im not

menyesal is not a good word, sebab macam tak reda dengan qada' dan qadar allah. yes, im always remind myself to never ever feel regret. everything happen is my biggest mistake and i should not do it again and again.

no, im not regret to go there. it just like my mistake, again. aihhh.

kekadang rasa macam my brain nak meletup je, padahal masalah bukannya sebesar klcc pown. but still, bila fikir pasal that problemsssss rase macam tak cukup je brain yg allah kasi nih utk berfikir, and y? please farah, answer that!

*tutup muka dengan bantal sambil jerit puas puas. relief? a bit.*

kerja? aihh. kadang kadang apa yg kita plan, langsung tak menjadi kan?

yeahh!

tahniah farah, anda telah membuat satu lagi penukaran template blog anda.

sekarang nampak lebih cerah.

and yeah, we talks! and lets talk sampai lebam =p

andai aku..

yes, andainya me, myself adalah seekor kucing, aww cute nye! kucing yg bulu nya sangat kembang mengembang! aww! *euww macam nyah dah.haha*

what purpose for this post? tak ada pape pown sebenarnya, sekadar mengisi masa bosan nih. haihh bila nak kerja nih.

ok, sebut pasal kerja, again di--reject for ntah berapa kali dah nih. please dont tell me to give up! fuhh, penat menghantar resume bagai, and ending no callings! and interview pown sudah, and still, REJECT!

ya allah, bantula hamba-Mu ini ya allah..

ok. what happen today? fuhh, best! baru balik from shah alam, and before, me and my friends went to fadhee's sister's house.hehehe and there we ate a lot of foods, like LOTSSSSSSSSS! Hahaha just bayangkan, tengah makan pown suruh tambah2 lagi. after one meal, another came. haha kesian perut, takde diet hari nih. btw, fadhee punye kakak punye masakan memangla TERBAEKKK! thanx so much fadhee and family! hehe

dats all. bye =)

happy holiday to all!

fail sekali takkan fail forever kan?

yes. hari dah fail, bukan sekali but berkali. xpe, sabar2

esok ada lagi 1. if esok fail jugak, confirm balik shah alam!

merajukla, kononnya.

hari ni? ya allah, bosannya yang amat sgt.

bosannye!

what are you doing?

again farah, masih tak sedar diri ke?

cukup2 lah tuh.

interview.

sebab balik beranang, so terpaksalah cari kerja kat sini. yela, takkan nak dok rumah je. makan,tido,makan,tido, lama2 jadi macam panda dalam panda kungfu. adoyai. lagipown my dear, bila nak gune dwet or nak bayar sewa rumah nak cilok mane? nak merompak? takde kemahiran tuh. nak mintak ngn parents? sudah2 la tuh farah menyusahkan diowg.

so. SILA BERDIKARI.

and ahri nih cari la jugak kerja. jumpa kat mcd. mcd baru tuh kat area2 sini. ok, dah ade satu. insyaallah. and another 1 esok interview kat klinik. fuyooo! klinik tuh. gile lari jauh. hahaha

takpela, asalkan dapat kerja kira okla tuh. and farah, ingat je, berjimat cermat. awak tuh boros. sgt2. sedar diri ye.

mengantokla pulak. bye.

.

abissss!

yeah! finally, abis pown exam. lega nyeeeee. walaupown tadi punye paper macam teeetttt* tapi tak kesah sebab tak sabar nak abis exam. susah macam mane pown malas nak pikir dah sebab last paper. yg penting, fuhhhhh!

balik baiduri, kemas sebab kene tukar bilik of course. so bilik yg tuh la, yg agak2 bermasalah, macam tuannye. penat gile. dok angkut semua barang2, harta khazanah entah tahun bile punya, angkut jugak. and sekarang settle my part. tapi ruang tamu, oh emm geee! sangatla berhabuk. dahla takleh habuk2 nih. hidung pown gatal la, macam bese. and now, helloooooo new room!

okla, penat da. cepat2 pi mandi, nak balik rumah. yeahhh!

en.tiang lampu, saya dah abis exam. taknak msg saya ke? =p

.

nasib badan

well, nampaknya aku tergolong dalam golongan orang terbuang. means that, im one of that people yg membawa masalah in this house. tak terasa pown but entahla. lumrah kehidupan memang macam nih kan?

even though kita rase baik or rapat macam mane pown dengan orang tuh, it doesnt mean that orng tuh pown feel the same way.

in that room, theres two people. bukan nak cakap diowg nih teruk or watsoever, but yes, kami menyedekahkan pahala kat diowg. so it means that, the same thing will happen to me, kan?

takpelah, terima je, dah nasib badan, ape boleh buat. nak keluar dari rumah nih? ikutkan hati memang nak, tapi for what? for certain people yg buat kita tak selesa dok rumah nih? memang takla.

its ok la. praktikal nanti dok umah sendiri je. cari tempat kat sana. senang. takyah nak rase ape2.

oh ya, selamat hari ibu. i love u mak!

aihh.

ya allah, aku mohon pada-Mu, lindungi la kami daripada malapetaka, lindungi lah kami daripada perkara yg keji dan mungkar.

ya allah, berikanlah kepada rahmat-Mu dan perlindungan-Mu ya allah.

sesungguhnya aku hamba-Mu yg lemah

dilemma

balik rumah, kerja kat sana but i cant earn much money

OR

dok here, kerja kat sini and i can earn much money.

oh my~ sangat2 dalam dilema sekarang

here, banyakkkkk expenses keluar. besenya kalow dok sorang2.

there, lesssssss expenses keluar. sebab? makan minum provided.

sana, jumpa family everyday la kan. of course

sini, i miss my mom!

aihhh! benci la macam nih

.

fuhhh.lega

poyo. not 100% lega pown sebab far430 belom habis lagi ok. tapi macam malas nyeee nak study. so kita lek lek lu. so malam nih marathon movie lagi. so cerita ape ye? *konon nak tgk, sat g separuh pown tak abis, dah tukar cerita lain.*

ha, let me story story pasal exam tadi. TAX490. ade theory, of course la kan. kitowg nih depends la jigak sikit2 kat soalan spot. konon nye la keluar reit or labuan offshore. budget tgk gitu2 je la. tup tup, oh emm gee!! budget yg keluar. hampagas betol la. dok dalam tuh takleh jawab, so kira la bajet2 bape la markah boleh dapat utk A. makkkkk, susahnyeeee! adoyai.

keluar je dewan, sume dok mengeluh, sedih2 sebab tak dapat jawab, include me. dah tuh, purse tggl dalam dewan. terbaekkk!

dahla. benci.

bye.

inactive

tido pukul 3++ then pukul 9 dah bangun. no wonder la mata macam nak meletup da nih.

xpe2, lagi 2 papers je lagi. pastu hooray! merdeka! wahhhh~

ok.nak cakap bende lain.

kadang2, no matter how happy the person is, kita tak tahu happy tuh sekadar nak tutup segala mcm masalah or dia betol2 happy. kan?

it will be sooooooo great if dapat jadi mcm yg pertama tuh. happy but dalam hati takde sape yg tahu. bajet macam takde masalah padahal mcm nak gile dok pikir masalah tuh.

aihhh~

dah, pi study.

tik tok tik tok

fuhhh. dah pukul 3.15am. its MORNING my dear.

dah2, stop everything, pi tido laaaa!

siang nanti continue with tax. this subject best but ade certain topics yg agak mencabar. no, not certain, one and only one topic yg mencabar. besides all the theories tuh la kan. memang tak dapat den nolong aihh.

kenapa sejak dua menjak nih tak suka subject membaca eh? sedangkan, i used to be a student yg kene hafal byk2 tuh. mungkin da tak serasi kowt *konon la kan* alasan betol la. haha

tengok novel yg kemas tersusun tu *again, kononnye la kan* teringat pulak kat my friend's friend.

dear my friend's friend,

cepat2la pulangkan novel2 tuh ye. i miss them so much =p

dah, stop mengarut2 dan silalah berangkat ke kamar tidur ye cik farah.

and awak, encik tiang lampu, cepat2 sembuh ye =)

bye.

hero

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

Chorus
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face your world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

Chorus

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You'll find the way

and yes, you are my hero encik tiang lampu =)

.

where?

where are you mr.tiang lampu?

lamanye menghilang?

perasan

Tiada puisi atau lagu
Tiada potret tiada ragu
Yang dapat ku ilham seindahmu
Nyata kau satu dalam berjuta
Wahai jelita kau istimewa

Walau ku kembara sedunia
Walau ketemu ramai wanita
Nyata kau tiada tandingannya
Seikhlas hati aku menyinta
Kau istimewa, teristimewa

Daku berikrar
Wahai maharaniku
Bina mahligai syahdu
Hanya engkau dan aku di situ

Tiada mimpi atau fantasi
Tiada rasa lebih berseri
Semekar murni hatimu sayang
Siang dan malam, aku terbayang
Kau istimewa, buat ku tenang

Daku berikrar
Wahai maharaniku
Bina mahligai syahdu
Hanya engkau dan aku di situ

Ingin ku bawa kau ke awana
Ingin memadu kasih asmara
Sepanjang hayatku curah cinta
Sebenar-benar ucapan kata
Kau istimewa oh! Percayalah
Ku perlu cinta dari wanitaku nan istimewa
Beriku cintamu nan istimewa

ok. itu lirik lagu. tetiba sangat minat lagu nih. actually dari dulu minat, cuma sekarang bertambah minat. tak ada apa2 yg special yg menyebabkan minat gile2 lagu nih. it just that i love it. bukan sbb ade org nyanyikan or watsoever la kan.

and pernah la berangan konon2 berharapla one day someone will sing this song special for me. awww. berangan sangat. dalam mimpi pown belom tentu ade org nak nyanyikan. haha.

ok, farah. stop. sila sambung ibm yg tergendala tuh gara2 brain yg konon nye 'full' la sgt.

ibm ibm ibm.

bye.

kemestian

namamu menjadi satu kemestian dalam doaku saban hari hinggakan aku terlupa berdoa utk diri sendiri

sighh~

you!

yes you. cepat2 sembuh ye. sy sentiasa doakan awak.

well, you know who you are. dah bookmark blog sy? haha =D

you

i miss that time. bila kita msg n msg n msg because thats the only thing we can do kn?

im so happy to have you as my very best friend

=D

sometimes

sometimes, we cant get what we wish for. aihh.

tapi usaha itu penting. its ok if we dont get but at least we have try our best, right?

i hope i can see, even in my dream. *sighhhhhhh

are you happy? good =)

he happy? yes. him also? yes.

sigh~

if so, me, the one that is not happy.

what should i do to make me happy?

yes, stop thinking about all these nonsense!

am i relieved?

NO.

sigh~

come on farah, nak exam da nih.

swing~~

pemalas

oh hooo! heloo farah? sampai bila nak jadi pemalas nih?

plis focus, put more effort before its too late my dear.

ok.bye

addiction

yes, i love this song =D it quite meaningful, rite?

perkara bodoh

oh hooo!

yess perkara bodoh.saya telah melakukan bodoh, and its all because of him. yes, him.

this thing happened last week.

i went to pas with fadhee to get my salary. and yes, i was damn frustrated sebab dapat sikit sgt. and i wonder macam mane la sistem payroll kat situ ye? adoyai.

but then, before that, in the morning i was texted with him and he said that he maybe, i repeat, MAYBE he went here, i mean shah alam, or to exact, PLAZA ALAM SENTRAL! oh em gee!! dont you think that we were so damn close.

so cerita bermula begini la. after da dapat gaji tuh konon nak lama2 sikit kat situ, but doing something of course. i thought i could make it, to see him for my very first time. until nek bus pown he not reply my msg. i was so damn frust! yes, indeed.

dengan langkah yg penuh kecewa i walked to my house. then, lepak2 dalam bilik ngn fadhee for a while in the room, he text me. he told me sth like this;

'ntahla, tgkla mcm mane'

so by that, theres a possibility he went there la kan? so, saya kuar balik tp pas. i text him, tapi tak reply, time tuh kat dalam mph. until 6pm++ still tak reply. then,that was the time that frust feeling came in. its like; 'hello farah, here i come!'

until the next day pown tak reply. am i that stupid? yes, farah, you are.

congrats for acting like this.

remember this, he will never do it ok. for other girls, yes he will do it.

and 1 thing, i could never be your woman, and yes go away hope.

sigh~

i cant express it

i hate u. fucking shit

dont leave me.

tajuk memang la macam over+jiwang berkarat tapi thats what i feel now.

i know ur feeling towards me dah makin kurang and i know time will heal everything.

but my dear, why?

0ne or two years or maybe more than that, we will not contact each other kan?

oh no, what i can do without you beside me?

ok. tension da nih

tension eh? of course la tension. kenapa? *ce cite ce cite*

ok, mcm nih ceritanye. esok ade test MAF. ulang ye, TEST MAF. and tajuk2 yg keluar = capital structure *ok, ingat2 lupe, bolehla* APV *da boleh da, insyaallah* and Merger *errrr..*

apa yg buat tension? of course the killer, MERGER! nih nak habaq, merger sgt2 susah ye. ok, kalow nak terangkan merger tuh ape, senangla, memang faham tapi bila nak calculate, hadoi, macam nak campak je segala mcm bende yg ade atas meja nih *mode; melampau tension*

adehh, mcm mane nih, esok nak test. and plusssss, puan kata, soalan test susah. what?? SUSAH?? ye farah, susah ye. so sila la teruskan study tuh ye. JANGAN MALAS!

ahhhh, boleh meletop kepala nih.

.i cant say a word

ok. firstly tergamam. sgt2.

why? syukur sangat sebab online malam nih. if, confirm takkan tahu.

and why this thing happen?

u and my friends are not the same.

friends are friends. and u, the one in my heart *ok, mmg mcm nak muntah bace nih*

dont you know about that? oh my...

ok, tipula kalau tak nangis, tapi terpaksa cover sbb theres other persons beside me. kang banyak citer pulak. so stop la farah. JANGAN MENANGIS.