.sorry.kecewa sgt.

ok. he's back, a few days ago. a week ealy than i thought. thats great. so damn great. but, i dunno how, why, and what. she texted me. and told me a damn shittt story. ahh pmpuan. aku jugak pmpuan tp jgn tunjuk desperate sgt. *like he said.*
and you. im sorry i acted like this but i've no choice. imagine u as me. then you'll know why.
yes. im so damn disappointed with you. plus, you're not understand me, at all. why?why?why?
maybe im kind of stupid but then, please. i want to cry and i've cried but till when? shit.

thank you soo much for his pain.=[

kerinduan lagi

what else i can say except i miss you. right now, i do miss you and i do really need you.i really need you very much. my feeling is sick like in icu. not only because of ur absence, but my surrounding.
you have no idea how much i hate them. i dont know but i think that i cant face them, even talk to them. this is my big mistake i've ever made. i should not come back here.
i need you to comfort me. i want to cry and i almost cry.

i hate them. i hate them i hate them.=[ what should i do?

adam, i miss you.

kerinduan

ok. right now i do really miss u. i dont know why. wat i know is i miss u damn much. and i want to talk with u. it is sad that u are not here, with me, but it is worst if you forget me. dont ever, ok? =)
i miss you dear!
ok. melalut lalut sudah. maaf ye.=)
maybe tomorrow i get a new phone, buy it with my own money ok. thats great actually.=)
just now, i discovered my phone and looked at my saved messages. it about a thousand of messages from him(which some of them i have been deleted a few weeks ago). and what i got? i got this feeling. i miss him and i love him. yes, i do love him. i am not a person who is good in expressing herself. i dont know what happen to me but yes, i do really love him. this 4-years-relationship is a wonderful thing in my life. love you is the best thing, but loved by you is the best of all.=)
i felt like i dont want to delete your messages because that the only memory i have with you. once you go for your 5-years-study, i know exactly that we will not ever contacting each other. it is not me who dont want but of course it is you. you go together with part of me. hajimaa...
ok.
my dear you, i hate it when you are always keep a secret from me. at least tell me. why? dont you think that you hurt by that way? please my dear, tell me ok? once you come back, please do tell me. i need to know ok.
sayang awak, rindu awak.
remember? SARA.

owh yea, one more thing. i will keep writing here until next two weeks. i feel like i'm talking with. am i right? so please comeback earlier so that i can stop typing here ok.

enough with babbling.
bye.

beep beep

my phone berbunyi, tanda ada msg masok.
firstly, i was curious to know who sent me a msg. but then, i remembered 1 thing. that was not his msg, he was not here and he'll be here next 2 weeks. how come i forget about that. for this two weeks, i ignored my phone. because i know whoever send me msg, thats definitely not him.

now i know, how is my life without him. i cant imagine myself without him for about 5years, or maybe more than that. i admit, i miss him damn much right now. and i want him so badly. but he is not here. i cant talk to him like i always do.

adam, please be here as soon as possible. i really cant let you go. you have no idea how much i miss you.

please take care of yourself and dont ever be naughty ok.=)

i miss you.

bye.

right now

right now, im very sure that hes already gone. from here. i hate that n i hate when he go w/o saying a word. not even a gudbye. a worst bufday in my life.

i know its hard to say gudbye

i dun want to say it too. but..

ya allah, bantu aku..

today

right. today is my day. however i cant celebrate it because of u. see?? you dont even remember it. tahu tak macam mane saya rase?? sedih, terkilan. at least say sth.
today is your last day here. you know what? thats my greatest gift from you.

thanks for everything.

dont~~

i got a bad news today. pliz, dont leave me here. even though we are not mean for each other, but pliz, i need you badly. at least i know you are still here. close to me. i can still contact you. but once you go, i can never reach you, again. i want to go with you, but thats impossible. i can do it, but i cant. i know its gud for you to go but from other side, no you cant. stay here!
i wish i could take care of you. i wish i could stay by your side. i wish. and i wish.

pliz, dont go away.
=((